


all is as they are

by Sotong_sotong



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Ambiguous Relationships, Character Death, Drowning imagery, KuroFai Olympics, Lighthouses, M/M, Mentions of public judgement, Negative Thoughts, liberties taken everywhere really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7712104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sotong_sotong/pseuds/Sotong_sotong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the lack of sound in the lighthouse that wakes Fai up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all is as they are

**Author's Note:**

> waves and pops back into sphere with my entry for **2016 KuroFai Olympics** , and the prompt: **20, 000 Leagues Under the Sea**. Please vote [here!](http://kurofai.dreamwidth.org/91946.html)
> 
> This was originally meant to be a direct crosspost to the Dreamwidth community, but man proposes, God disposes: I overslept so I posted my entry there first to meet the deadline, and crawled here 4 hours later :') I'd like to thank my coach, Clover (thank you so much for your patience during the weekly check-ins ;A;), the mods, fellow writers, the readers-- basically everyone who made this year's Olympics possible! 
> 
> This fic is super self-indulgent, and kurofai's interactions here are fashioned after post-canon; they'  
> re more at ease with each other but still end up at odds at the quirkiest of times. Still, I hope that it'll be enjoyable to read!

It’s the lack of sound in the lighthouse that wakes Fai up.

When he stirs, he thinks _how strange_ , and lets his eyes immediately begin searching; they flit from the floor to the ceiling, then, to the door, the porthole windows, and finally, the balcony beyond, but nothing seems to be wrong or out of place. All is as they are, and that’s even stranger still.

Fai blinks. Watches the wind chimes he’s hung here, there, and everywhere sway and swing. They don’t _tinkle_ nor _jingle-jangle_ despite the light sea breeze coursing in from the upper deck upstairs and— _ah_.

He’s found the cause for his concern.

Grimacing, Fai rolls out of bed, stretching up, up, up until the tips of his fingers brushes against seashells and bamboo; they’re part of one wind chime he’s particularly fond of that he’s placed above his bed, a spiral of cloud-white angulate wentletraps interspersed with circular bamboo tokens all strung together using coir, and a Scotch Bonnet in shades of boiling caramel at its helm. It’s the very first wind chime he’d ever made with his own two hands and very little magic, and cliché as it seems, there is always something about first times and first things that’s almost sacred to Fai; if he could, he’d cup them all to his chest, letting them sear into his skin so he’ll have scars to remember them by after they’ve long disintegrated, if nothing else.

( _It isn’t any fun being lonely_ , a voice sneaks in and whispers to the back of his mind; Fai squashes it down because the break of dawn is hardly any time to feel sorry for one’s self.)

He walks over to the sliding doors that lead to the outer balcony, taking a great whiff of salty air and morning dew as he steps out, leans on the railings and looks on at the stretch of midnight-blue waves and bubbling sea foam.

“I suppose,” Fai muses, “it’s best to go swimming when it’s calm before the storm.”

 

*

 

( _They say the life of a diver is hard and cruel_ , the old people whisper, _they say you rob yourself of oxygen for the scant few notes of sound waiting at the bottom of the sea, but oh, at what cost, at what **cost** —?)_

 

( _Is it for the sake of the preservation of music?_ )

( _Is it for the sake of the sea?_ )

 

( _Or it could just be for the sake of the diver, to be one with what he thinks he needs_ , Fai smiles and slips under, away from their badgering and their peeks.)

 

*

 

The sand around the lighthouse is coarse as ever, clinging to the spaces between his toes like a long-time lover, and Fai wrinkles his nose at it; it may have been ten years since he’s settled into the lighthouse and its surroundings but some things just never change. He’s suited up his black wetsuit, goggles atop his head, a burlap sack in one hand, and in the other, a small flick knife for protection, just in case. Padding over to the shoreline, the waves greet his ankles, gentle as can be— except, Fai frowns, there’s something not right, something new underneath its feel.

He takes a moment to close his eyes, reaching within for a coil of magic to connect with the sea. He imagines its form: a cerulean leyline curling from his heart and slithers under the crash and ebb of the tide, going down, down, down until it sits with the sea bed and the coral reefs he’s come to know so well.

(All is they are, and that’s even stranger still.)

Fai opens his eyes, pulls back his magic, contemplating the pros and cons of entering the sea at this point when he’s uncertain of its little change. Then, he looks at the lighthouse and the wind chimes dangling from every possible nook and cranny— Fai’s good at cramming stuff, he really is— and he sighs and thinks _without their tinkling, I’ll be the only occupant_ , so he rolls his shoulders once, twice, then, he’s off— leaping into the mouth of the sea.

The water doesn’t hit, it welcomes him into the depth of its arms slippery and sweet, and the deeper he goes, the longer the caress of sea bubbles and kelp feel on his skin. Still, Fai has to be quick; experienced as he is, he’s always set a limit of five minutes to resurface, and staying any longer isn’t a thing to be made a constant of.

( _Stay with me_ , the chilly water simpers, _stay with me and never ever leave._ )

His breath still in check, Fai pushes on, looking for a glimmer, ears all too eager for the sound of a familiar _ding!_ \-- signalling the purpose of his dive. He swims amongst schools of fishes, and carefully hovers over coral reefs, cuts through currents as best as he can until he hears it: a tiny little _ding-a-ling!_ sparkling beside a giant clam shell.

Fai’s heart leaps, and he swiftly moves forward to scoop the small orb into his palm; it tingles his skin warmly, glowing a merry candy cotton pink as if it’s chirping _hello, hello, I’m glad I got to meet you_ ; his fingers close over it: _thank you, I’m glad to meet you too, let’s remain this happy together_.

Just as he kicks up to resurface, a desperate current reaches for him.

( _Hurry, hurry_ , it urges, _you’ve got to hurry, there’s a girl by the shore, she’s all alone, and who know what’ll happen._ )

Originally, Fai had planned to collect four more musical note orbs after resurfacing for air, but the current’s worry and information set his heart racing because _what on earth_ — Fai had been the only person living on these parts of the sea, solitary, save for the occasional visits from passing ships and sailors to weather a storm together before making their way to their businesses again, so who could have drifted off so far away from the mainland and ended up here _on their own_ , no more and no less?

Fast as a seagull’s passing, Fai breaches the surface, breath heaving, and he stumbles towards the shore, eyes already desperately seeking for the girl the sea current spoke of. He prays that she’s safe, and in his best hopes, uninjured.

He doesn’t notice her at first, so focused is he on finding her on land that he didn’t think to scan the waters around him, and when he does, his heart leaps uncomfortably again.

(Fai isn’t exactly an old man, despite the hundred and twenty years he’s got on him, but surprises like this don’t come by very often, and Fai wonders if he’ll be able to take any more of it.)

She floats on the water, secured in place by a finger-like sprout of whitish-pink coral that keeps her safe, for it curves under and around her: the sea’s own protective cage.

He rushes over, feet splashing water as he stops by her side. Upon his presence, the coral sinks, creaking, curling under the waves, slowly returning to its proper resting place.

Fai quickly cradles her unconscious form to his chest and brings her out of the water, carrying the girl to the waiting lighthouse and its ever patient wind chimes.

 

*

 

(When he was still based on the mainland, there had been a boy. Once. He’d come up to Fai as Fai slid on his gear and prepared to dive for musical notes day after day, and every single time he was beside him, the boy would ask—)

 

( _Are you happy with what you’re doing? Are you happy with what you are?_ )

 

(But Fai never answered, and his red eyes stung Fai harder than a rockfish ever could.)

 

*

 

He kicks the lighthouse’s entrance door open, rattling its walls and the wind chimes on it, muttering _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this is an emergency_ under his breath, and ascends the spiral staircase at two steps at a time. His bedroom is on the third floor so Fai stops there and barges into his room; despite his harried movements, he sets the girl down on his mattress with all the tenderness he can muster.

The girl is pretty, her auburn hair would have curled cheerfully about her face if it wasn’t wet from being soaked in sea water, but that’s the least of Fai’s problems at the moment; once he’s certain that she’s still breathing, shallow as it is, he exits his room and clambers up to the highest deck— where the lighthouse’s lamp resides.

He reaches for the bottle of kerosene he stores in a cupboard there, and lets its pungent oil slick through a funnel and into the lamp’s filaments. Then, he rummages for a matchbox and strikes a match.

He tosses it too into the pool of kerosene under the filament, and he waits.

The lamp lights up and shines an unearthly yellow, a waning moon glowing stoically on upon the land and its sea.

 

*

 

(If there’s one thing Fai had ever learnt from the boy though, is that his persistence is deeper than any trench; one day he’d come up to Fai again, but he’s not a boy any longer, he’s a man now, tall and proper, and this time he doesn’t ask, he says—)

( _I heard you’re moving to the Celesian lighthouse_ , a breath sucked in, an effort not to stumble, _I’m a Captain and a sailor now, so if you ever need me, just—_ )

 

(Fai’s eyes widen at the bloom of what feels like an anemone inside his chest.)

 

(— light its lamp fire, and I’ll come help you in whatever.)

 

*

 

When Kurogane’s ship docks by the atoll connecting to shore of the lighthouse, Fai comes running.

“Kuro-pon, Kuro-chan!” He wheezes, uncaring of the face the sailor pulls at that, “a miracle has happened!”

“What?” The other man snaps, but does it so fondly that even Fai has to roll his eyes at his lack of bite. He jumps down from the ships’s plank way and lands right in front of Fai, who, without any hesitation whatsoever, latches his hands onto Kurogane’s chest and _drags_. “Could you just calm down for a second and tell me what’s—“

“There’s a girl!” Fai gulps air, and then, continues: “She washed up just by the edge of the shore’s waters this morning, and I don’t know what to do! I don’t even know how she got here!”

“Then, how did you even know she got here in the first place?” Kurogane quirks an eyebrow, strides stretching longer to match Fai’s hurried steps as they head to the lighthouse.

Fai doesn’t pause at all, just says, “The sea current told me.”

(Because it’s the truth, no matter what anyone else might say to that.)

“I see.” Kurogane nods, making Fai’s heart leap ~~not again~~ at his unassuming understanding; there’s a reason why Fai has never sought the company of other humans, but Kurogane’s presence was something he’d always found comfort in and—

( _It isn’t any fun being lonely_ , it really is, but this is not the right time to deal with feelings.)

Once again, Fai kicks the lightdoor’s house open, much to Kurogane’s chagrin.

“Why are you always like this?” He grouses and makes sure the door is closed _properly_ this time before he starts climbing the stairs.

Fai, already a floor up so his voice is a bit faint, calls back, “But I always say sorry to the lighthouse every time I make that mistake!” Then, a bit louder: “Hurry, Kuro-sama! I think she might be coming awake!”

With a heavy sigh that comes loose from some deep-seated weariness, Kurogane sighs and mutters, “It’s not the lighthouse I’m worried about, it’s your damned foot.” But time is always running, so he, in turn, rushes up the stairway, all the way to where he faintly remembers Fai’s bedroom is. He stops short at the door when he realises that actually, yes, the girl on Fai’s bed must be the one he was referring to, and that, yes again, she is indeed awake.

“How is she?” He inquires and stalks to Fai’s side.

“I’m not quite sure yet,” Fai bites his lip and lowers himself to her level as she sits up. He reaches behind her to prop the pillows better for her to lean more comfortably on, noting how she doesn’t flinch from human contact and is still in a bit of a daze. Fai glances at Kurogane again. “Can you get me a kettle of warm water, a cup and some towels?”

Once the man has left to do his bidding, he turns to the girl, giving her a moment or two to collect herself before gently asking, “How do you feel, Miss?”

She turns to look at him with wide kelp-green eyes, which only become wider once she registers that she isn’t alone, and _squeaks_. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to intrude but, but, here I am--“ She breaks off then, and continues, slowly, wonderingly. “Where am I actually if you don’t mind telling me?”

Fai blinks at her sudden flurry of words, but keeps his voice soft when he answers, “You’re at the Celesian lighthouse, Miss.”

“Ah,” she says to that. “Then, I really am alive.” The girl lifts her hands and stares at her palms, her nails, her fingertips, and her wrist. Then, as matter-of-factly as you’d please, she gasped, “I really _am_ human!”

Fai is fortunately saved from reacting to that by Kurogane’s entry, arms laden with the things that he’d asked for. Kurogane nods at the girl when she looks a little fearful at him. “Water?” Kurogane sets the kettle on Fai’s bedside drawer chest, lays the towels beside it, and pours a cup for her to drink.

She accepts it and drinks like she’s thirsted for a drop of water for ever so long. “T-thank you!”

“No problem,” he replies and takes the cup to fill it again.

Fai smiles at that; he knew the man had a secret softness inside of him despite the gruffness he usually projects, and it shows now, more than ever, as Kurogane doesn’t say much but answers in gestures: straightening the blankets Fai had thrown over the girl, refilling her cup even when she doesn’t ask for him to do so, and glancing at Fai every now and then to make sure that Fai too is alright.

Fai decides to make himself useful as well.

Rummaging through his drawers, he flings shirt after shirt out of it in order to find a suitable piece of clothing for the girl to change into. It wouldn’t do for her to remain in the green dress he first found her in, she might catch a cold.

“You’re messing up your room,” Kurogane casually remarks, all too used to Fai’s antics by now.

“Then, help me find a dress or a really long shirt or something.”

“My shirts on the ship would all just dwarf her, idiot!”

“What? Like how they dwarf me? That isn’t so bad, you know, Kuro-sama.”

The only thing that stops Kurogane from lunging after Fai to shake some sense into him is the giggle the girl suddenly lets slip. She brings a hand to her mouth, likely to cover it from embarrassment, but when the other two say nothing else, she drops it and beams, soft and true. “You both seem to be very close to each other.”

“Well,” Fai replies and rubs the back of his head sheepishly, “we’re as close as we’ll ever be.” Then, he exclaims _a-ha!_ and pulls out a sundress that had somehow made its way into his wardrobe. “Here, you can wear this instead. If you stay any longer in your current clothes, you might catch a chill and fall sick.” He gets up and moves to leave the room, pulling Kurogane with him. “Take your time to change!”

When he shuts the door, he looks to the side and comes face-to-face with Kurogane.

(His stupid heart and its stupid leaps.)

“Why’d you even have that dress for?” He grunts, red eyes boring into Fai’s.

Fai only smirks and tweaks his nose, then, twirls away.

“Wouldn’t you like to know~?” He singsongs, although really, he’s walking further and further away.

Kurogane says nothing, and follows after.

 

*

 

( _It isn’t fun being lonely_ , he tells a coral and its reefs a week after he’s moved into the lighthouse, _it isn’t fun to love something but be shunned for it; it isn’t fun loving someone but not knowing how to go about it, it’s just never, never fun._ )

 

( _But do you want to know what’s fun?_ the reef soothes and his temper dies.)

 

( _Learning how to stand up for yourself, and for what you want, and protecting them._ )

 

*

 

“Oi, idiot. You haven’t even changed out of your wetsuit yet.”

“Oh, you’re right!”

“Screw you and your _ohs_ , go get changed after she’s done! Worrying about everyone else but forgetting about your own health, _tch_.”

“Worrywart Kuro-pon is the best! Always after people with his _tchs’_ and his _ois’_!”

“ _Oi—!!_ ”

“See? Point proven.”

 

*

 

Fai knocks on his room door. “Miss, are you done yet?”

“Yes, yes, please come in!”

He shares a look with Kurogane before entering, gasping in delight as he takes in how beautiful she looks in the light pink sundress. “You look lovely!” He nudges Kurogane’s side; the man grunts in assent.

The girl’s cheeks flushes slightly at his words and her smile is sun-bright, warm and blinding. She curtseys. “Thank you very much, both for your words and this dress.” Her eyes then glance at the wind chimes all over his room, mouth curiously asking, “I bumped into a few but they didn’t make any sounds…?”

“Ah, that’s because they’re out of music. Allow me to correct that.” He brings himself to stand in the middle of the room, pulls out the musical note orb he’d gotten from the sea earlier, and concentrates. His leyline curls and becomes one with it; the orb’s glow shines until the whole room glows with it, and branches of power stemming from the cerulean leyline and the pink orb rise up and out, connecting with every available wind chime around them, making them glow too.

Fai breathes.

The sea wind wafts in and pokes at a wind chime he’s made out of keys and chains that had washed up on the shore.

It cheerfully jangles, and Fai finds that all is right again— for now.

An enthusiastic clapping of hands breaks him out of his focus; the girl runs up to him, excitedly exclaiming, “That was wonderful, Mr—“ She blinks a few times. “Um, Mr…”

“Just call me Fai,” he answers kindly, patting her on the shoulder. “That’s actually normal around here, Miss. We need to power up objects with music notes we get from the sea every once in a while, otherwise, they’ll just be silent no matter how much we shake or touch.”

“The human world really is so different,” the girl sighs. Fai perks up at that, because that’s the most peculiar choice of words he’s ever heard of; he’s about to ask further but someone cuffs his head from the back instead.

“Your turn to change, idiot mage,” Kurogane reminds him. His fingers curl at the back of Fai’s nape, stroking the stray ends of blonde hair there.

Fai doesn’t trust himself to say anything else so close to him like this, and simply nods in agreement.

 

*

 

“So, what’s your name?”

Fai sets a plate of egg sandwiches down for them to eat, and looks at the visitor the sea had brought to him.

She seems at a loss initially, but then she points to her dress. “What’s the name of this dress’ colour?”

“Pink?”

“Alright, my name’s Pink then!” She seems happy enough with this, oblivious to the glances Kurogane sends to Fai, and tucks into the sandwiches with gusto, her face cutely relaxing with pleasure. “They’re delicious, Mr. Fai!”

Kurogane cuts in before Fai can speak; he points to one of the wind chimes swirling in the dining room: a recreation of a dark tree with pink blossoms trailing from its branches. She turns to follow his finger’s direction. “You see that? That’s a sakura tree. There’s none around here, but they’re really pretty when they bloom.” He coughs and glares at Fai, who had been quietly snickering beside him. “They’re pink too, so how about you take that name on instead?”

“Sakura?” She tilts her head. “I guess that’s a good name too.” Her smile is still curved on her lips, but it’s turned a little bittersweet. “I shall be Sakura until the end of today’s dusk.”

“Why’s that so, Miss Sakura? Is something wrong? What can we do to help you?” Fai blurts out, starting to get a little worried; Kurogane’s knee bumps against his under the table: _calm down, don’t be too hasty._

She huffs fondly at his distraught expression and her shoulders are set with with something akin to knowing acceptance. “Didn’t Mother Sea tell you?”

Fai’s voice drops, barely escaping as a whisper. “Tell me what?”

Sakura doesn’t blink.

“That I’m a piece of broken coral she brought to life for a day as a human, as my last wish.”

 

*

 

( _Oh, the life of a diver, always going under, always getting lost on purpose, will they ever come up for air on this surface, will they ever stay long enough on this dry earth?_ )

(The old people’s whispers grow stronger, and Fai—)

 

(Fai just sinks further.)

 

*

 

There is silence until Kurogane breaks it.

“What are we waiting for then?” He says with all obviousness in the world and jerks his chin at the cuckoo clock Fai’s nailed to the kitchen’s pillar. “Let’s make the most of your time while you still have it.”

Fai regains his thoughts, and rounds up on Kurogane, furiously hissing, “How can you be so _insensitive_ , she’s just told us she’s only alive for the rest of the evening and you, you—“

The sensation of Kurogane’s fingers at the back of his nape ~~again~~ stills him.

( _I want to do something, anything; let me protect what I love and what I want_ , the shadows behind his eyes scream and scream.)

But, that’s the thing about Kurogane and his stinging, stinging red eyes that brings Fai back to his feet, no longer floundering in uncertainly, but steady as he is when he touches the calm shore. Fai swallows, roughly, an undefined lump sticking stubborn like a barnacle to his throat that he doesn’t want to address at the moment, because time is always running and Sakura-- _they_ have to run after time as well to make the most of what they have.

Fai turns to face her with every bit of sincerity he can pull from himself. “What would you like to do, Miss Sakura?”

Sakura’s face lights up far better than any dawn or lamp or fire. She breathes, _”Everything.”_

Kurogane snorts, but most of his snorts, as usual, are imbued with some bit of fondness. A grin spreads his lips and bares his teeth, ferocity in approval as he says, “That’s the spirit!”

(Fai wants to punch him for being so unfairly handsome— mostly with his mouth.)

And they do just about as much as possible— making a racket with the wind chimes, baking cupcakes, nosing about on Kurogane’s ship, lighting the lighthouse’s lamp for no reason, and so much more— with whatever they can.

 

*

 

( _But there’s a boy, isn’t there?_ , the reef ponders in his second week of talking to it, _a man now_.)

( _Maybe_ , Fai looks away and answers.)

 

( _Definitely_ , the reef corrects him, and the sting of salt in sea water on his bitten lip makes Fai blink, and think of one particular pair of red eyes, always leading him back to where their owner wanders.)

 

*

 

When the sun breaches the horizon and dusk makes its arrival, they stand by the shore and await the inevitable.

Sakura puts a toe on a lapping wave, and draws it back, smiling as she turns around to face Kurogane and Fai, backlit by burnt orange. “I think it’s about time. Thank you for everything, really!”

“I’m glad you had a good time.” Fai is so, _so_ proud that his voice doesn’t waver, and leans closer to Kurogane’s side. The other man simply nods, but his feelings are still felt despite the distance.

“I’m happy to have met you two as well!” She sings out as she backs into the water, slowly, slowly, shrinking further and further into the deeper end, pink dress bloating, auburn hair soaked once again, and just before she goes under, Fai calls out:

“Maybe I’ll see you again one day, or maybe even years and years from now, maybe— maybe, no matter how impossibly, 20, 000 leagues under the sea!”

And the smile she replies with haunts him forever.

 

*

 

Once the last sight of her is gone, Fai takes Kurogane’s hand in his and grips harder.

“Stay with me for a bit, just a little longer.”

Kurogane huffs a _yes_ and this time, _oh_ , this time— Fai doesn’t feel like he’s drowning when Kurogane leans down and kisses his cheek.

Then, all is as they are, and that’s even stranger still.

**Author's Note:**

> I was greatly inspired by Sylvia Plath's _Mad Girl's Love Song_ , Explosions in the Sky's "Time Stop" and "At the Bottom of the Ocean", and this one quote on Magic Realism's Twitter: _Wind chimes and waterlilies; that is all I have to say._ Perhaps, I sort of meant this to whole thing to feel like that first rush of headiness when you dive into water, and perhaps this is a pearl diver AU of sorts as well (I'll never quite know myself cuz this was all fever dream writing). 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! Concrits and comments are always welcomed too!


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